Here are two things to know about me: 1) I am some flavor of neurodivergent (ND). 2) I am a therapist who specializes inthe diagnosis and support of ND people.

I’ve been doing this for 20 years. And honestly, I love my work. But being ND, and having been married to and having children with an ND man, means I created ND children. Three of them, actually. They are my world, and they’re amazing kids.

Unfortunately, their dad is ND and a narcissist. There does tend to be a relatievely high comorbidity between ADHD and Narcissism (about 25%) (Duarte, et al., 2024), and he has made our lives hell. We divorced almost 7 years ago, but it doesn’t matter – he continues to live for making my life as miserable as possible. My oldest child is currently in the cross-hairs, and I think I’m being alientated from her. She has turned on a dime, accusing me of pressuring her into going to a school she told me she desperately wanted to go to, telling me she no longer wishes to come to my home.

I know she is the victim here; I know she’s being maniuplated.

It still hurts. Like hell. Like my entire world is going to end.

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) is something a lot of ND folx deal with. It comes down to issues with emotional regulation, and many ND people report it as one of the most painful and difficult things about their ND. It basically means an disproportionate reaction to perceived or real rejection. While we can use things like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or even Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), it is a brain condition. Recent research suggestes that alpha antagonist medications may help, but even that data has mixed results (Dodson, et al., 2024).

I know that the wave of pain will pass. This is the biggest difference between RSD and a true mood disorder. But in the meantime, it feels like I’m being stabbed in the chest.

I went to the gym, ate a healthy breakfast and took a long shower. It helped. Having to deal with ongoing narcissistic abuse is going to continue to be hell, but I’ve still got my support system in place.

If you’re reading this and can relate – you’re not alone.